And the camera noses in to the tears on their faces: Stories about the missing baby Lisa Irwin.

Publications: People, National Enquirer
Date: 31 Oct. 2011

It's one of those odd situations that stories about missing babies are most likely to show up either in the relatively nice and reliable People or in the not at all nice and very unreliable Three Wicked Step Sister tabloids, the Enquirer, Globe and the low rent Examiner. Here are the headlines.

• People: What happened to baby Lisa?
  Shocking new details
  A mother under fire
  Deborah Bradley says she was drunk and doesn't know what happened the night her 10-month-old daughter disappeared. Inside the deepening mystery
• National Enquirer: Baby Lisa: What mom told cops
  11 month old Lisa Irwin
  dad Jeremy and mother Deborah
  
  

And the camera noses in to the tears on her face: Monica Lewinsky's sad and lonely life re-hashed.

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 24 Oct. 2011

Fresh trash tomorrow! Last trash of the week... right now!

I have no idea how large the writing staff at the low rent Examiner is, but I'm guessing it's much smaller than any of the other gossip rags except the completely fabricated Sun. My guess is because the magazine has no online presence and they re-cycle stories of their own or steal from their more well off stable-mates the Enquirer and Globe on a regular basis. This week, they re-cycled their own "re-open the Natalie Wood" case story and they ripped on the Enquirer's story from last month about how bad Monica Lewinsky's life is. They say she is lonely, miserable and living with her parents, which is a very little different from the Enquirer's headlines last month.

Breaking news (?): Why Jen's in tears.

Publication: OK!
Date: 24 Oct. 2011

Yet another headline with the phrase "Breaking News!" this week, this time about Jennifer Aniston being in tears. Having seen the news in other places, she's doing publicity for Breast Cancer Awareness Month and she got misty eyed listening to the stories of survivors at a treatment center in Virginia.

By all means, women should have regular check-ups, because early detection is the most important tool we have in fighting this disease.

And the camera noses in to the tears on her face: Monica Lewinsky's sad and lonely life.

Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 19 Sept. 2011

Remember when a special prosecutor looking into a shady real estate deal entered into by Bill and Hillary Clinton found out that Whitewater was a dry well? And failing at that, he decided to look into women Bill Clinton entered into? Well, if you have forgotten, the National Enquirer decided this week that you really wanted a "Whatever happened to Monica Lewinsky?" story.

As it turns out, nothing good. The headline reads "Affair with Clinton ruined her."

And the camera noses in to the tears on her face: Kate Gosselin in crisis.

Publications: People, OK!
Date: 19 Sept. 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! Say farewell to gossip hell, Kate Gosselin! Her reality TV show has been canceled, which means there's a good chance the Only Ten Magazines That Matter will stop paying attention to her at all. This is only the fourth week this year she's been mention, while she had 28 stories in 2010 and was one of the Top Ten gossip rag celebrities last year.

And what could be more fitting a farewell to this nasty piece of work than two negative cover stories from the nicest mags around? Here are the headlines.

• OK!: Kate Gosselin Exclusive
  She's broke without the TV show!
• People: Kate Gosselin
  Will Her Kids Be OK?
  After six rocky years on TV, Kate and her kids face an uncertain future. "I'm really scared", says Kate

And the camera noses in to the tears on their faces: Rose McGowan's escape from a cult.

Publication: People

Date: 5 Sept. 2011



Welcome to gossip hell, Rose McGowan! People interviews the actress, who currently can be seen in the box office dud Conan the Barbarian, about growing up in a hippie commune in Italy that she fairly describes as a cult and how she escaped from it.



Let us recall that Rose got her big break replacing Shannen Doherty on the TV show Charmed when Doherty became just too difficult to work with. Ms. Doherty is still in a creepy cult called the Republican Party.

And the camera noses in to the tears on her face: Stories about Russell Armstrong's suicide.

Publications: OK!, Weekly Life & Style, Us Weekly, Globe

Date: 5 Sept. 2011



Half of The Only Ten Magazines That Matter have stories about the suicide death of Russell Armstrong last week. Armstrong was the estranged husband of Taylor Armstrong of the reality TV show The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Here are four of the headlines.

• OK!: Russell's suicide
  
  why he didn't have to die
• Globe: Curse of reality TV
  
  Shows blasted for tearing lives apart
• Weekly Life & Style: Taylor devastated by suicide
  
  The chilling episodes you'll never see
• Us Weekly: Reality suicide
  
  dark secrets exposed
  
  destroyed by their pursuit of fame

Let the record show that these gossip hounds say it's all reality TV's fault, as though the supermarket rags don't rely on reality TV for a large bulk of their stories. (To be fair to the Globe, because their audience skews older, they don't do reality TV gossip as much as the other mags on the list above.) There is one headline I didn't include because it's going to be in the running for Meanest Story of the Week.

And the camera noses in to the tears on their faces: Khloe and Lamar's anguish.

Publication: Star
Date: 8 August 2011

Khloe Kardashian was one of the most popular celebrities in the tabloids early in the year, but since Kim's wedding has been announced, the supermarket rags have paid scant attention to the other Kardashian siblings. This week, she and Lamar get on the cover of Star because of a murder in the family, which I assume means his family.

Meanest story nominee: Celeste Holm's nightmare

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 8 August 2011

Welcome to gossip hell, Miss Celeste Holm! I loved her so much in movies that were made before I was born, like All About Eve and Champagne for Caesar. Well now, it's the low rent Examiner that tells us her family is squabbling about her money and she may lose her home.

The good news is that this is not a Brave Last Days alert for the Academy Award winning actress, who tuned 94 last April.

Best wishes to Miss Holm, her friends and whatever family members who are not trying to rob her blind, from a fan.

This is a nominee for Meanest Story of the Week.

Real Housewife Teresa: "I'm terrified of being poor."

Publication: In Touch
Date: 1 August 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! Real Housewife Teresa Giudice is still the focus of the women chosen from the New Jersey version, now that her husband is going to jail and she is filing for bankruptcy. Here are the headlines.

• The truth about their shocking debt
• Bullied by "friends" for being broke
• Her marriage crisis: "I hope my girls never have to rely on a man."
  
  

There are also smaller pictures of 11 other housewives who are going broke. Names are not included, so I'm not sure who they are. I'm sure Karen Zipdrive could look at all the pictures and identify them, but that sounds like work and I wouldn't make her do that.

And the camera noses in to the tears on her face: Jaycee Dugard My Untold Story

Publication: People
Date: 18 July 2011

People talks to Jaycee Dugard about the book she has coming out about her life after she was kidnapped. Here is what it says on the cover of the magazine.

• Kidnap survivor's own words
• In a moving excerpt from her book A Stolen Life, Jaycee Dugard, 31, talks about her 18 years in captivity, her rescue - and how she's healing