On the rocks alert: Prince Albert's secret $1 billion divorce deal

Publication: Globe
Date: 31 Oct. 2011

The deal that Monaco has with France is all about the royal line. If there's somebody in the Grimaldi clan ready to be the next prince, they get to go on being their own little and ridiculously rich country. If not, it gets swallowed up by France. (This rule was strictly enforced back in Grace Kelly's day. It's a little more lax now.)

In any case, the Globe says Prince Albert and his bride, a South African swimmer named Charlene Wittstock, are already on the outs and there will be a secret divorce costing one billion dollars.

For those of you keeping score at home, the wedding was this July. If this story is to be believed, their fairy tale wedding blew up in their faces faster even that Kim'n'Kris. No matter how you slice it, that's some really expensive sex.

Or if you believe the nearly constant rumors, lack of same.

Bells are Ringing Alert™: Three big weddings.

Publication: Weekly Life & Style
Date: 18 July 2011

Three weddings get mentions on the cover of Weekly Life & Style this week.

Kate Moss married some rock star.

Prince Albert II of Monaco turned an South African swimmer into a princess.

His outfit is pretty fabulous, too. From what I've heard, this was not by accident.

And Ugly Betty star America Ferrera made a lovely bride as well.

Best wishes to all concerned.