Demon Drugs Alert™: Willie's shocking new medical crisis… because of pot!

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 10 Oct. 2011

If you want news about Willie Nelson, the low rent Examiner has been your only supermarket rag option this decade. They have written that he is dying, going to prison and helping save wild horses. Now they say he has a medical condition due to smoking marijuana, though they don't use the word "deadly" or "dying", so this does not rise to the level of tabloid death watch.

You don't hear much about people having health problems due to smoking marijuana, but as a non-doctor, I would say that if you do ANYTHING as much as Willie Nelson smokes pot, trouble is likely to arise.

Meanest story nominee: Willie Prison shocker!

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 1 August 2011

The low rent Examiner tells a true story this week, also reported by reputable news agencies, that Willie Nelson faces jail time because as they put it, "Judge throws the book at country star".

Here are the details, found online. Willie smokes the herb. We already knew that. He got caught smoking and was put on trial. He's an old guy, and a famous one to boot, so the trial judge said that instead of jail time, Willie could come by the court house and sing Blue Eyes Cryin' In The Rain. ANOTHER butt-inski judge hears about this, says it isn't fair because other people caught smoking herb aren't given this option and, just to be fair, gives the 78 year old singer two years in jail.

You know, just to be fair. Because if we don't apply our stupid draconian laws fairly, people will stop having respect for them.

Through no fault of the low rent Examiner, this is a nominee for Meanest Story of the Week.