Damn You Skinny (or Fat) Alert™:Best and worst celebrity beach bodies October 2011.

Publication: Star
Date: 24 Oct. 2011

Welcome to gossip hell, Hugh Jackman! The Aussie movie star gets his first mention on the cover of any American gossip rag this decade on a best and worst beach body story. Not surprisingly, the 43 year old gets on the best list. We can also welcome to gossip hell Julie Bowen and Pierce Brosnan, who don't get such nice treatment.

The good.

• Hugh Jackman
• Gwyneth Paltrow
• Kourtney Kardashian, in a rare positive story about that family right now

The bad.

• Uma Thurman has a little belly
• Pierce Brosnan has a big belly
• Kirsten Dunst has a very visible spinal chord
• Julie Bowen looks wrinkly
• Christina Aguilera is getting heavy
  

Best and worst dressed for 2011

Publication: People
Date: 26 Sept. 2011

Here's a simple distinction between People, the nice and reliable gossip rag, and the National Enquirer, the mean and unreliable gossip rag. When People has a "best and worst" article, they put nice pictures on the cover. This time it's Kate Middleton, Jennifer Aniston and Gwyneth Paltrow, all looking elegant in nice dresses. The Enquirer usually goes with best and worst beach bodies, where everybody either looks like a beached whale or a skeleton.

Damn You Skinny Alert™: Hollywood's extreme diets

Publication: OK!

Date: 5 September 2011



A quick scan of the label list shows that Damn You Skinny™ stories are more than twice as common as Damn You Fat™ stories, roughly as common as Bun In The Oven Alerts™. OK! has three women on the cover this week, Gwyneth Paltrow, LeAnn Rimes and Angelina Jolie, with a passel of headlines that aren't connected to specific people, hoping to get someone to open the magazine and read it. In my case, as usual, this clever plan did not work.



Here are the headlines.

• Hollywood's most extreme diets
• Exercising at midnight
• Eating only baby food
• 190 calories per meal
• Who's being healthy and who's in danger!