Kick a corpse, why don'tcha?Grave of Elizabeth Edwards' still unmarked.

Publication: National Enquirer

Date: 7 Nov. 2011

The Enquirer tells us that the grave of Elizabeth Edwards is still unmarked and they have exclusive photos.  Though he is not mentioned, this is obviously a continuation of their theme "John Edwards is a scumbag".

You'll get no argument from me, and I voted for the guy.

Kick a corpse, why don'tcha and Meanest Story nominee: Buddhism killed Steve Jobs!

Publication: National Examiner

Date: 7 Nov. 2011

The low rent Examiner tells us there is a "Harvard report" that claims Buddhist beliefs killed Steve Jobs.  It's a sign of how well known Jobs was that the low rent Examiner thinks their demographic, which skews older, more Southern and more dense, will know who he is and judge him on his scary non-Christian beliefs.

This is a nominee for Meanest Story of the Week.

Kick a FRESH corpse, why don'tcha? Dan Wheldon didn't have to die!

Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 31 Oct. 2011

The Enquirer, classy as always, picks over the freshly buried bones of Indy 500 champ Dan Wheldon, who died this month in a horrific accident on a track in Las Vegas. Here are the headlines.

• Tragic Indy ace didn't have to die!
• Dan Wheldon's chilling warning
• Dramatic photos inside
• Terrified Danica quitting
  
  

Kick several corpses, why don'tcha? The Jackie tapes, both real and imaginary.

Publications: People, National Examiner
Date: 10 Oct. 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! The top and the bottom of the supermarket gossip food chain have cover stories about the Jackie Kennedy Onassis tapes that have been released.

Let's start with the headlines on People.

• Jackie's secret life
• New revelations, new questions
• Fifty years after the White House, the iconic First Lady still fascinates. A look at her life, her loves, her private pain and her enduring style

And then there's the low rent Examiner with the alleged inside scoop.

• Secret Jackie O tapes
• What wasn't allowed on TV
• Plan to make John Jr. president
• Who really killed JFK!
• White House affairs - his and hers!
  

Meanest story nominee: Murder shockers!

Publication: Globe
Date: 29 Sept. 2011

In what shapes up to be a very mean week in the gossip rags, the Globe claims that two dead people were in fact murdered, though official causes say otherwise.

Russell Armstrong, widely reported to have committed suicide, was instead executed, according to the Globe.

Promising autopsy secrets and new evidence, the cover story also claims James Brown was assassinated while in the hospital.

This is a nominee for Meanest Story of the Week.

Meanest story nominee and Hairdresser Alert™: Russell Armstrong's gay lover tells all!

Publication: National Enquirer

Date: 5 Sept. 2011



Let the record show that while Taylor Armstrong was on the cover of several gossip rags because she was too skinny, The Only Ten Magazines That Matter ignored her husband Russell until the Enquirer wrote an article that said he beat her and put her in the hospital, and while the article was still on the stands, he committed suicide.



Now, after possibly driving the man to suicide, the Enquirer decides to kick a corpse and talk to his alleged gay lover. They also add the sub-headline "Housewives suicide tragedy!" just in case you forgot why this guy should be on the cover of a gossip rag.



I don't think outing a person is the worst thing in the world, but if that person isn't an anti-gay political figure like Marcus Bachmann or Rick Perry, I don't see the point.



This is a nominee for Meanest Story of the Week.

And the camera noses in to the tears on her face: Patrick Swayze's mom's hell!

Publication: Globe

Date: 20 August 2011



The Globe has an exclusive interview with Patrick Swayze's mom two year after his death.

Kick a FRESH corpse, why don'tcha? Peter Falk didn't have to die

Publication: Globe
Date: 8 August 2011

In the Three Wicked Step Sister tabloids, the most popular types of stories about the recently deceased are the secrets taken to the grave, people feuding over the will and the "didn't have to die" stories. Peter Falk gets the third type of treatment this week from the Globe.

Meanest story nominee: Yet another premature story about the Jackie O tapes.

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 8 August 2011

Okay, let's get the facts out of the way first. There are tapes of Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis that have not been released to the public. According to reliable sources, Caroline Kennedy will authorize their release this September.

Now we are expected to believe the low rent Examiner has a source that will tell us what's on them. They promise a look inside her "shattered life" and the secret of who was really behind the assassination of JFK.

This is a nominee for Meanest Story of the Week.

Kick a FRESH corpse, why don'tcha? Stories of Amy Winehouse's death.

Publications: People, National Enquirer, Star, Us Weekly, In Touch, OK!
Date: 8 August 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! Amy Winehouse was a fixture in the British tabloids, but she was barely noticed in recent years on this side of the Atlantic until she died last week. Now there are six cover stories about her. Here are the headlines.

• OK!: Amy Winehouse's tragic death
  Her Last Interview (Exclusive)
• Us Weekly: Amy Winehouse - Her Lonely Last Days
• In Touch: Amy Winehouse - Her Final Interview
• Star: Amy Winehouse - Fight before fatal drug binge
• People: Amy Winehouse dead at 27
  Talent and Tragedy
  Her Final Days
  The singer's anguished life and why those who loved her could not prevent her tragic death
  "It was only a matter of time", said her mom
• National Enquirer: Amy Winehouse was pregnant when she died!

Stay classy, Enquirer!

Best wishes to the family and friends of Amy Winehouse, from a fan.

Meanest story nominee: Prince William: "I know who killed my mom!"

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 25 July 2011

The low rent Examiner continues with the popular gossip theory that his mother Princess Diana was murdered AND the heir to the throne knows the culprit. If you really think the car crash was a hit, watch this sketch by Mitchell and Webb and see if you don't think there are a few holes in the idea.

This is a nominee for Meanest Story of the Week.